So you find yourself in the company of a sister-in-law that is very manipulative and wants to find out how to deal with her toxic behavior, well you have come to the right place.
You will find that toxic people get personal rewards when they make you feel bad. There are many ways to deal with a jealous sister-in-law. Avoid gossip, Let her know that you know what’s going on, and be sure you don’t get caught up in the drama.
Family can be difficult enough to navigate without having an awkward inlaw in the mix, you’ll feel like you’re the problem at times but this is what your sister in law wants. When two families come together it’s not always easy, try to avoid making it an issue. Learn how to manage how you respond to her. You may find she appreciated your effort with her.
Speaking your mind and trying to state facts isn’t always the best approach, sometimes things can get worse. Speak to her and if done with care you could find it helps to make the situation easier to live with.
Next up 14 common things to look out for…
14 signs of a manipulative sister in law.
- She constantly puts you down and makes you feel guilty.
- She tries to undermine your relationship with your spouse.
- She takes credit for things you have done.
- She often makes jokes at your expense.
- She frequently undermines your decisions or opinions and makes you feel that your ideas are not valued.
- She frequently changes her behavior or story, depending on who she’s speaking to, in order to get what she wants.
- She tries to control the dynamics of your relationship with others, including your spouse, by influencing their perceptions and opinions of you.
- She is often passive-aggressive in her communication, using indirect or cryptic statements to get her point across.
- She uses guilt or emotional manipulation to get you to do things for her, or to change your behavior.
- She tries to make you feel like the problem in any conflict and twists the facts to make herself appear to be the victim.
- She frequently interferes in your personal life, making suggestions or offering unsolicited advice.
- She tries to isolate you from others, including friends and family members, in order to maintain control over you.
- She makes you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells, and that anything you do could upset her.
- She is quick to judge or criticize, and is slow to offer support or praise.
She constantly puts you down and makes you feel guilty.
She constantly puts you down and makes you feel guilty. It can be very damaging to your self-esteem, especially when the person doing it is someone close to you.
She may make hurtful comments about your appearance or belittle your accomplishments, leaving you feeling like nothing you do is ever good enough.
She might also make subtle jabs that put you on the defensive, making it difficult to stand up for yourself or even express how her words are affecting you. She may twist situations around and make it seem like all of the problems in the relationship are your fault.
She tries to undermine your relationship with your spouse.
Signs that she is trying to undermine your relationship with your spouse may include her constantly trying to break down the boundaries between you and your partner, communicating negative messages about one or both of you, or controlling conversations in order to make them go her way.
She may also try to get too involved in decisions you and your spouse make about each other, or even try to influence decisions about family gatherings.
It’s important to set boundaries and stay firm on them if you feel like she is crossing a line. Don’t be afraid to speak up and let her know how you feel if necessary.
She takes credit for things you have done.
She may take credit for things that you have done, or even blame you for her own mistakes. She may try to make you feel guilty for not doing enough, or she may pretend to do more than her share of the work.
She might attempt to control conversations by dominating them with her opinions and preventing others from speaking up. You may even find she tries to control family dynamics by pitting people against one another or playing favorites.
It is important to recognize these signs and nip her manipulative tactics in the bud before they become more serious.
She often makes jokes at your expense.
If she does this in a way that makes it seem like she is just being friendly, but these jokes always make you uncomfortable. Try to brush them off and ignore her, she may take it too far, for example, making comments about your appearance or lifestyle choices.
It’s hard to understand why she feels the need to do this, especially if you have never had any real issues before. She maybe enjoys making you feel small and insignificant, which can be really upsetting.
How to handle a manipulative sister-in-law.
Dealing with a manipulative sister-in-law can be difficult and highly stressful. The best thing to do is to stay calm and not let her behavior affect you. Make sure to set boundaries and communicate them clearly. Don’t engage in arguments, as this will only fuel her manipulative behavior.
If she continues to try to manipulate you, don’t hesitate to remove yourself from the situation and take time away from her. You should also talk to your partner and make sure they are aware of what’s going on so they can help manage the situation accordingly.
It’s important to remember that you cannot change someone else’s behavior, but you can choose how you respond. By understanding your own limits and expressing them firmly, it will be easier to deal with.
Frequently asked questions
Why is my sister-in-law so manipulative?
She loves to get her own way and will use any means necessary to do so. She’s very persuasive, often using emotional manipulation or guilt-tripping in order to get what she wants. She also loves to control the situation, often dictating how things should be done or how conversations should go.
This can be really frustrating for those around her, as it takes away their autonomy and makes them feel like they have no say in the matter.
I think the reason why she is so manipulative is because of a lack of trust. She feels that if she gives up control then people will take advantage of her, which is why she clings on so tightly to whatever power she has.
Signs of a controlling sister-in-law.
A controlling sister-in-law can be difficult to deal with and can make family gatherings or holidays a challenge. Some signs of a controlling sister-in-law include her wanting to be the center of attention, trying to control conversations, or making decisions for other people without asking them first.
She might also try to dominate group activities, or be overly critical of others’ opinions and ideas. She may try to dictate how family members should dress or behave, and try to control who people spend time with.
In extreme cases, she may even act aggressively toward those who don’t comply with her wishes. It’s important to set boundaries and stand up for yourself if you feel like your sister-in-law is trying to control you or the situation.
Does your sister-in-law always love to outshine you in an event such as cooking, dressing, and many more?
If you find your sister-in-law can be a bit of a challenge when it comes to events such as cooking, dressing, and more. She maybe seems to always want to outshine you in those areas and it’s quite frustrating at times.
It’s best to try and stay ahead of her by planning ahead and finding new recipes or fashion trends that she hasn’t tried yet. This will work most of the time but sometimes you may find she has ways to beat you to the punch.
Try and forge a good relationship and try to laugh about it and make it a friendly rivalry. Try not to let it affect your relationship and instead use it as an opportunity for some light-hearted competition.
Does your sister-in-law want to involve herself in everything you and your spouse do?
Do you find sister-in-law is always trying to get involved in everything you and your spouse do? It is understandable that she wants to feel included but it’s important for you to have your own space too.
Try explaining this to her, but if she still insists on tagging along with you whenever possible this can be frustrating.
Come up with creative solutions such as suggesting activities that involve all three of you or setting aside special days when it’s just the two of you doing something together. It’s a delicate balance but by compromising and communicating clearly, you should be able to keep everyone happy.
Final Thoughts
There are plenty of signs of a manipulative sister in law. We think it’s best to restrain yourself from making it into an issue, avoid name-calling, and be the bigger person. Calling her out on it can make things get worse.
Get together and try and have a light-hearted chat about it all but try and avoid negative things in the discussion. Tell her you always felt like you would be close and are still hoping for it.
You may also like to check out Why Do People Take Advantage of Me? for more information about the topic.
