Why Does a Narcissist Want to Hurt You? (Full Guide)

Why Does a Narcissist Want to Hurt You

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There are plenty of reason why a narcissist would want to hurt you in the article we will take a deep dive into why a narcissist really want to hurt you and how we can deal with this person in the best possible way.

A narcissist, by nature, is a self-centred person who has a strong sense of entitlement and little to no empathy. They have a grandiose sense of self-importance and will often exaggerate their achievements.

There are many schools of thought on why a narcissist wants to hurt you. We will take a look at some of the most common reasons why a narcissist wants to hurt you below.

5 Reasons A Narcissist Wants To Hurt You.

1. Hurt People Hurt People.

One belief is that they are simply trying to protect themselves. By putting you down, they feel better about themselves and their own insecurities.

Narcissists have a tendency to take things out on other people due to their own insecurities. They will try to hurt you before you can hurt them. This is because they’re nurturing a deep-seated fear that someone will “get one up” on them, and they want to be the one in power.

2. They Want To Control You.

Another belief is that narcissists want to control you and by hurting you, they can do just that. Narcissists are known for their unrelenting need for admiration, so much so that they often have a hard time maintaining relationships.

They may also enjoy making you feel pain as it makes them feel powerful. They want you to yield to the demands they make of you because they seek to control you by mentally beating you down until you totally give in.

3. You Never Made This Promise.

Most people with narcissism are delusional about what you owe them and what they think you own them, even though these things are unreasonable and impossible to meet.

They can’t recognize the difference between their desires and reality. All they know is you have disappointed them and broken a promise you didn’t know you made.

Of course, in their mind, they have every right to be angry with you.

4. You’re Faking Your Emotions.

When a narcissist makes you emotional, they will assume it is fake. This is because when they cry, they are crying crocodile tears; they are faking it so you must be doing the same. Don’t forget a narcissist will be dramatic and emotional in order to get what they want and think you will do the same to them.

5. It’s All Your Fault.

A narcissist will try to make you think that everything that goes wrong in their life is your fault. They blame you for their errors, they blame you if it’s raining, and they’ll blame you if they failed a test or didn’t get a job they wanted.

They are unable to reason with themselves and don’t know why they feel angry so they will project it onto you, and they will bully you.

It’s hard to know if you’re dealing with a narcissist because they are good at disguising themselves. They are emotional vampires and they can suck the life out of you without you even realizing it. They lack empathy and compassion, which makes them difficult to deal with.

No matter the reason, it is important to remember that it is not your fault and that you did not deserve the pain that was inflicted upon you. 

What can you do to protect yourself from a narcissist’s attempts to hurt you?

There are many things you can do to protect yourself from a narcissist’s attempts to hurt you. One thing you can do is to try to avoid getting too close to them.

Another thing you can do is to try to keep your distance from them. If you have to be around them, try to be around other people as well. Finally, you can try to avoid being alone with them.   Check out more ideas here on how to protect yourself from a narcissist.

Common Questions & Answers.

1. What would be the motivation for a narcissist to want to hurt someone? 

There can be many motivations for why a narcissist might want to hurt someone. Some reasons could be because the person has wronged them in some way and they want revenge so they think, or because the person is a perceived threat to their ego or status.

Additionally, narcissists may also hurt people simply because they can, or because it gives them a sense of power and control.  

2. What are some of the ways a narcissist might go about trying to hurt someone? 

There are many ways a narcissist might go about trying to hurt someone. They may try to undermine the person’s self-esteem, make them feel worthless, or try to expose their flaws and weaknesses.

Narcissists may also try to manipulate or gaslight the person, making them question their own reality or sanity. Additionally, narcissists may try to isolate the person from their friends, family, or support system, making them feel alone and helpless. In some cases, narcissists may even resort to physical violence to assert their power and control over the person.  

3. What are some of the possible outcomes of a narcissist’s attempts to hurt someone? 

There are a few possible outcomes of a narcissist’s attempts to hurt someone. They may succeed in causing pain and damage to the other person, or they may end up causing more harm to themselves than to the other person. Either way, it is typically a lose-lose situation for both parties involved.  


In summary, why does a narcissist want to hurt you is because their goal is to get even with you for the pain they believe you caused them. They want to make you feel the same kind of pain they felt when you hurt them. This need for revenge often comes from a place of deep hurt and unhappiness. If you found this article useful, please check out our other articles on similar topics.

Phil Taylor
Phil Taylor Body Language Expert